The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Buena Vista Social Club at the Park

OMG The outdoor presentation of Buena Vista Social Club at the Sculpture park was AMAZING. Well, aside from the fact that it was mostly really cute happy couples, and I was with my usual 8 year old date, it was wonderful. First off, they showcase a different country every week. This week was Cuba, so they showed Buena Vista Social Club, and had this Latin band play until the sun set, then they served Cuban food. Holy crap, if I were dating, this would be the spot. Lots of picnic baskets and bottles of wine, view of the city all lit up. The music of course was amazing, and this particular movie is so well shot. I almost got emotional.

Next week is Slovenia. Im totally there.

BTW, the band was great. Here is their website

Apparently the percussionist (drummer just seems too harsh here)is from LIC, they had a different bass player and he was great. Red headed guy sitting there singing Spanish songs. He announced he was from Brooklyn. Dont see him on the website, though.

Anyhoo, there were clouds and I was SURE it was going to rain. But they passed right over us, and the night was absolutely stunning.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Red Rover and My Weapon of Mass Destruction

Karl Rove. Karl Rove. Karl Rove. Is anyone surprised? I mean, as disgusted as I am about this, Im definitely not completely surprised, I mean, hello, we are talking about Dubbyas top advisor for Christ's sake. The administration is a big huge episode of All My Children. So fucking sad, I'm embarrassed and scared to travel overseas. What's shocking is the amount of people trying to defend this! Its like the country has become a huge Crypts v. Bloods, its stupid! Karl Rove fucked up and threatened the security of a CIA agent Valerie Plame, her other operatives for the sole reason of seeking revenge on one of the WMD whistleblowers. Are people aware that the last government that did the crooked shit our government does were the Nazis?!? Pathetic. Sad and scary. If you don't agree with every scandal Bush and his Cronies are involved in, your a liberal. I don't see it as being that black and white, folks. Its wrong and right. This is a simple WRONG v. RIGHT. But there are so many hard-core republicans out there that are willing to rationalize any behavior that the administration participates in. If everyone that disagrees with the crooked sleaze of Bush and his scumbag staff is a "liberal", what the FUCK does that make you that ignore the facts of the day and defend this insanity no matter what? fucking PATRIOTS? HA! Thats a joke.

So this morning I woke up to not one, not two, but THREE big huge mutant flys sitting on my wall. Just looking at me. WTF? Are all the normal sized bugs in Astoria Queens eating all the leftover Greek food and becoming ginormous? I shit you not readers, these flys were the size of bumble bees. I could NOT believe it. And they were all near my bedroom window. My first plan of action was to swat. When I realized, they were too big and would leave guts on my wall, I started to panick. Plan B was to open the top window and try to shoo them out (I really dont like killing bugs, I have to tell you). So, there I am in my T shirt and granny undies, standing on a chair infront of my open window ("hi neighbors!") trying to shoo mutant flys out of my room. They were so big, they werent even flying around just running along the wall. I panicked. My amazing emergency response instincts kicked in (as I envisioned what I always invision, that being the bug flying into my hair) and I reached for the Glade tropical fruit room spray. Hows that for a weapon of mass destruction?!?I saturated them until they fell on the ground and I could stomp them with my flip flop.

Word of the Day:
Oxymoron: A stupid person that uses astringent

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Showers for a whole WEEK?? WTF

So, I had this itinerary for the weekend:

Sat. Sculpture Park on Sat. (making recylcing art with G)
Party on my friend D's roof in Park Slope
heading out to Bobs on the LES

Sun. Summerstage (Femi Kuti is playing and I will be shaking my booty)
Work on my latest project

Weather is threatening this itinerary, Dammit. Sumerstage may be not happening. We'll see though. For now it looks like the park may not be happening. Im going to the outdoor cinema presentation of Buena Vista Social Club at the Sculpture Park tomorrow, so that should be fun, and there is no idication of showers. I have to admit, Im sort of lonely, G has been my date for the past few weeks. Im thinking tomorrow of bringing a nice blanket and some snacks and just chilling out. Lord knows I need it.

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Spiderman is Hot

Its no secret that if I had to pick one superhero to be my boyfriend/lover it would be Spiderman. He just has that build, that body like a boxer, and hes from Queens! Not to mention he can crawl everywhere.. ok, Ill stop- you get my point. So, I guess I wasnt the only one thinking this all this time because our friends at did a whole cartoon on it! Its spiderman in his tighty whiteys with no shirt and his mask! HOT HOT HOT!

Check it out here.

Anyhow, I saw this and took out my old spiderman T shirt and remembered the times I used to call the spiderman 1-800 number just to listen to his little messages. Yes, my first love and fantasy. Gets me all misty eyed.

Friday, July 08, 2005

Black Hawk Down

The waterbug situation in Astoria Queens needs to be taken care of , promptly. I had been warned for the past two weeks that not one, not two, but three of my friends in the hood were being harrassed by these beasts of Satan. One of my friends (the girl downstairs from me) was coming home from the Beer Garden, a little tipsy and stepped on what she thought to be one of her son's toys. Alas, it was not. It was a waterbug no doubt waiting in the dark to jump up and fly in her hair. The second incident happened in my friend Ts house. This time, the suspect crawled on her headboard (yes HEADBOARD), Im sure just waiting for her to fall asleep so it can nest in her bed. The third incident was in my room. Yes, MY BED ROOM. Where the suspect proceeded to crawl across my alarmclock. I spotted him right away. It was like he had radar though, and they KNOW my vision is bad. I saw him move a bit on my brown wood end table, but thought maybe it was just me (denial is always my first form of defense in anything in my life traumatic). So it stood still for a moment until I walked up close and saw his fucking antennas! I screamed like someone was killing me. Fortunately, Gs father was visiting and came in the room and killed him, by the time he and G found it, I was locked in Gs room in the verge of tears.

Let me just make something clear. I will tangle with a mouse, a spider and even a snake, but I can NOT deal with waterbugs (also known as palmetto bugs or giant cockroaches)

Now I cant sleep. I know its dead, but Im nervous that its little family is going to come looking for it in my bedroom. What if they want to come retrieve the body? Plus, that thing was just TOOO close to by bed. EEEEWWWWWWWW.

Interesting Facts About Waterbugs (AKA the "American Cockroach")

The American cockroach, Periplaneta americana (Linnaeus), is the largest of the common peridomestic cockroaches measuring on average 4 cm in length. It occurs in buildings throughout Florida especially in commercial buildings. In the northern United States the cockroach is mainly found in steam heat tunnels or large institutional buildings. The American cockroach is second only to the German cockroach in abundance.

An adult lifecycle is only 600 days

Females may lay up to two casings per week containing 16 eggs per case

They will eat anything.

There are 47 species under the umbrella of the "American Cockroach"

They are attracted to moist dark areas. They react poorly to light.

I saw one crawling on my ALARM CLOCK a few days ago, and once, at work, one crawled on my desk and I didnt have my glasses on and thought it was my tortoise shell hair clip so I again went into denial- but then it crawled on my muffin. Gross.

They can sense fear. If they know you are afraid of them, they will fly at you just for laughs

Funny Quote of the week:
"Dude, I gained so much weight that when I went to florida, I got serious Chub Rub. Is there anything I can buy for that??" my dear friend O, telling me this at the beach

Chub Rub: When you gain weight and your skin rubs together in the summer when you walk, causing an uncomfortable rash.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

RRRAAAHHHH, Its The Second Week of July


Attention all Friends/Family Members:

Listen fuckers- its the second week of the month and you know what that means. Dont fuck with me. Your usual "Jessica Airhead" and "Guess What Jessica Did" jokes are not fuckin funny this week. So BACK THE FUCK OFF.

You may now continue reading.

Have you ever felt like a jellyfish? That's how I feel today, squishy, fat and flubby. Gross.

Maybe the fact that I inhaled the following last night

1 order of (4) crabmeat stuffed mushrooms
half of Gs Chicken Tenders
Turkeyburger w/cheese (and blue cheese on the side)
French Fries (dipped in the blue cheese)

But wait, kids, thats not all.

I THEN proceeded to run outside like a 5 year old after the Mr. Softee truck (G was about 10 feet behind me, but when its my time of the month and there is a damn ice cream truck infront of my house, its like winning the world series-Ive made that run in 3 inch heals before). I ran like I never thought I could run. So, we can add to the above menu a chocolate dipped vanilla ice cream cone. YUMMM.. Needless to say, I woke up this morning frantically sifting through my medicine cabinet for the imodium. God, its great to be a woman and to have an excuse to do disgusting shit like that! So I feel like a Jellyfish but between monthly acne and bloating, i look like Jabba the Hut.

So, everyone, Spearhead (yes, Michael Franti) will be in Brooklyn on JULY 21. The countdown begins.

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