Black Hawk Down

The waterbug situation in Astoria Queens needs to be taken care of , promptly. I had been warned for the past two weeks that not one, not two, but three of my friends in the hood were being harrassed by these beasts of Satan. One of my friends (the girl downstairs from me) was coming home from the Beer Garden, a little tipsy and stepped on what she thought to be one of her son's toys. Alas, it was not. It was a waterbug no doubt waiting in the dark to jump up and fly in her hair. The second incident happened in my friend Ts house. This time, the suspect crawled on her headboard (yes HEADBOARD), Im sure just waiting for her to fall asleep so it can nest in her bed. The third incident was in my room. Yes, MY BED ROOM. Where the suspect proceeded to crawl across my alarmclock. I spotted him right away. It was like he had radar though, and they KNOW my vision is bad. I saw him move a bit on my brown wood end table, but thought maybe it was just me (denial is always my first form of defense in anything in my life traumatic). So it stood still for a moment until I walked up close and saw his fucking antennas! I screamed like someone was killing me. Fortunately, Gs father was visiting and came in the room and killed him, by the time he and G found it, I was locked in Gs room in the verge of tears.

Let me just make something clear. I will tangle with a mouse, a spider and even a snake, but I can NOT deal with waterbugs (also known as palmetto bugs or giant cockroaches)

Now I cant sleep. I know its dead, but Im nervous that its little family is going to come looking for it in my bedroom. What if they want to come retrieve the body? Plus, that thing was just TOOO close to by bed. EEEEWWWWWWWW.

Interesting Facts About Waterbugs (AKA the "American Cockroach")

The American cockroach, Periplaneta americana (Linnaeus), is the largest of the common peridomestic cockroaches measuring on average 4 cm in length. It occurs in buildings throughout Florida especially in commercial buildings. In the northern United States the cockroach is mainly found in steam heat tunnels or large institutional buildings. The American cockroach is second only to the German cockroach in abundance.

An adult lifecycle is only 600 days

Females may lay up to two casings per week containing 16 eggs per case

They will eat anything.

There are 47 species under the umbrella of the "American Cockroach"

They are attracted to moist dark areas. They react poorly to light.

I saw one crawling on my ALARM CLOCK a few days ago, and once, at work, one crawled on my desk and I didnt have my glasses on and thought it was my tortoise shell hair clip so I again went into denial- but then it crawled on my muffin. Gross.

They can sense fear. If they know you are afraid of them, they will fly at you just for laughs

Funny Quote of the week:
"Dude, I gained so much weight that when I went to florida, I got serious Chub Rub. Is there anything I can buy for that??" my dear friend O, telling me this at the beach

Chub Rub: When you gain weight and your skin rubs together in the summer when you walk, causing an uncomfortable rash.