RRRAAAHHHH, Its The Second Week of July

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Attention all Friends/Family Members:

Listen fuckers- its the second week of the month and you know what that means. Dont fuck with me. Your usual "Jessica Airhead" and "Guess What Jessica Did" jokes are not fuckin funny this week. So BACK THE FUCK OFF.

You may now continue reading.

Have you ever felt like a jellyfish? That's how I feel today, squishy, fat and flubby. Gross.

Maybe the fact that I inhaled the following last night

1 order of (4) crabmeat stuffed mushrooms
half of Gs Chicken Tenders
Turkeyburger w/cheese (and blue cheese on the side)
French Fries (dipped in the blue cheese)


But wait, kids, thats not all.

I THEN proceeded to run outside like a 5 year old after the Mr. Softee truck (G was about 10 feet behind me, but when its my time of the month and there is a damn ice cream truck infront of my house, its like winning the world series-Ive made that run in 3 inch heals before). I ran like I never thought I could run. So, we can add to the above menu a chocolate dipped vanilla ice cream cone. YUMMM.. Needless to say, I woke up this morning frantically sifting through my medicine cabinet for the imodium. God, its great to be a woman and to have an excuse to do disgusting shit like that! So I feel like a Jellyfish but between monthly acne and bloating, i look like Jabba the Hut.

So, everyone, Spearhead (yes, Michael Franti) will be in Brooklyn on JULY 21. The countdown begins.