Deep Theraflu Thoughts

So I got some plague from someone on the airplane (I assume) and had to go home early yesterday so I can sleep and sweat and cough and feel like crap in my furnitureless apartment. While laying on the floor of my living room so I can watch TV in between naps, I started thinking about how neurotic I am with certain things.

You know, every single day I go out of my way (like two blocks) to go to a FEMALE coffee stand person because she is the actual owner of this coffee stand (I saw her little badge) and I really truly believe that in her country she could never do what she is doing now? She also always is sooooo nice to me. Love her. But for all I know, she could be going home and giving all of her money to a greedy fat man. But in my fantasy, she is a single mom, making ends meet. You go girl! Plus she calls me “honey” every day. Maybe I’m just looking for my mommy every morning. People think I’m kidding when I tell them that I really believed for a long time that Ronald Reagan was a bad word. I really believed that for a long time!!! When kids would get me mad I would say "you, you, RONALD REAGAN" and to me it was like saying you "Nasty Piece of Shit!". It was very liberating. Like saying "Fuck". Then I turned 7 and actually started calling people pieces of shit. LOL. Also, I believed until I was 19 years old that Vienna Sausages were called Pokies, and one time went to Key Food to get a can of them and asked the store clerk for Pokies and looked at him like he was a stupid ass hole when he called them Vienna Sausages. Thanks Mom. I hate sitting on upholstered seats on public busses or on the Ferry. Every day I would examine the rows of available seating and take the WORST seat because the fabric wasn’t stained. My friends get really pissed at me sometimes for this. I do that all the time. But really, what kind of OK stain can be on a chair where your ass should be? I will NOT put my body in a swimming pool or small area of water that has a lot of people. I just wont. Its fucking gross and you know it.

Can you all tell Im still druggin on Theraflu?

Also my appology of the day goes to my Dad (though hes doesnt give enough of a shit to read this). Im sorry for driving you to the really Ghetto part of New Orleans to a check cashing place to cash your royalties check and then driving off and leaving you there when I got scared. Even though a group of guys who looked like these guys were hanging outside the place, they approached my car and I had to do what a girl had to do. Look, I may be from Brooklyn, but I cant fuck with New Orleans-At least I came back to get you! But whats worse is Im sorry about laughing until I was crying about it last week.