Bloody Gums on the N train

When I used to live with my two gay room mates, we always had this joke about the kind of guys that would hit on my room mate A. Always something SERIOUSLY wrong. One guy had a huge scar across is nose, one guy had HORRIBLE bad breath, one guy smelled like hot garbage. Well, maybe Antonio has been thinking of me a lot, and tranferring his karma to me, but this morning the grossest of gross actually approached me on the N train, and to make it worse, this is the second time I have witnessed such... such.. I cant even think of word for it.

Im sitting by the window on the N train, oh, say, 8:00 this morning. He enters the train and at first seems really normal. Hes wearing black dress pants, button down blue shirt, tie. Hair is ok. Smells good. Sits two seats down from me. Well he starts staring at me, like trying to get me to look up at him. But I see him out of my peripheral vision and refuse- Im busy doing important things like listening to Michael Franti and imagining he is next to me, talking to me about the "CIA running like that jones from Indiana, but they still wont talk about that Jones in Guyana" (this is what happens when Im not caffeinated and Im hearing music- Im on another planet). I look over in that “you interrupted my zone out time” sort of way, and he smiles. Only, I notice something really fucking nasty! His gums are bleeding!!! Not just a little, but a lot. I didnt even look at the rest of his face. All I saw were his bloody teeth! Bloody gums smiling back at me!! The absolute HORROR! I quickly shifted my ENTIRE body to face the window. I wanted no part of his air space. I felt violated and betrayed.

The first time I witnessed a bloody gums incident was when this guy at the Harvy Milk School was trying to hit on my old room mate A. He was trying to chat me up in order to get me to hook it up (not) and every time he smiled, you would see his disgusting bleeding gums. I almost launched my snapple everytime he would try to chat me up.

Other than the bleeding gums incident, life in Queens is great. I love my new hood. My neighbors are all really nice, and the apartment, while it may be empty, is mine and I love it. Even though I can not even afford to pay attention because half of my check is being deducted to pay back the security deposit that I was allowed to borrow, I am grateful that I had that option and I know that this brokeness is only temporary. My cost of living is so much less here, and for the first time in YEARS, when I wake up in the morning and wave hello to my neighbors, I feel like I am home. G loves her school and her teacher and all of the staff so far have been so nice. I am so blessed that all of this fell into place.

Last weekend the CBITW came over to visit and to take me to Target to get basic things like dishes, kitty food (how embarressing, ha??). He took Gabby and I to PS1, and I swear, that was so what I needed. I needed to be around creativity, I needed to be in a place where everything isnt always logical. He always manages to take me to these places when I really need to be there. He doesnt even know he does it. He doesnt even know, how even a cupcake at Billys was what I needed at that time in my life! Shit, I didnt even know it.

So, Im feeling like a lucky lucky girl these days, despite all of the bullshit.