Cutting the Life Lines
I can understand how lots of people would think it is strange to live with your ex. I understand this completely... but we have three bedrooms, and I’m in one, he’s in the other...no excuse, right? Ok.. I know.
Ive told D he has to go. We cant continue to live together- its just keeping us in this broken up limbo phase. Why the fuck are men sometimes like babies holding their umbilical cords just waiting for somewhere to plug it in?!? We cant be room mates. I probably emotionally could, but he cant. He still tries to sneak in the bathroom when Im showering. Not that we cant be friends, but we cant live together as friends, and he definately can NOT see my awesome wax job anymore. Some relationships you just cant do that with. Its hard because I really truly feel like I have been single for a long time now. He, on the other hand still feels as though this is fresh and new. How do you politely tell someone you really dont love them anymore? Here is your answer- you cant. Sometimes I speak before thinking things through and it just blurts out. Like this morning, we were both getting ready for work, and he says “listen, J, lets go PA, just as friends (he has been doing stupid passive aggressive shit like this for the longest and it annoys the shit out of me- like really- am I supposed to say ‘yes lets go right now to PA and have a nice vacay’ !” I not being caffeinated, therefore lacking the mechanism in my brain that says “do not say that” blurt out “D, we are not together now, we are not getting back together, we are not going to PA or Skiing, Im not going to FL with you to pretend in front of your family that we are still together, we are not going away together, I hate that you still live here- you have to go back to the condo- I want to get on with my life- I just don’t love you anymore!!”. As usual, when I do this, he just sits there for a minute mouth half open gagging before he retaliates with something to protect his ego. He says “that’s fine- you know my friends all say how lucky you are that we are broken up and I still contribute to this house” ooh good one. “Contribute to this HOUSE?!? You FUCKING LIVE HERE, ASSHOLE! So please just pack your shit and GO and then go sign up for the Mother Theresa award for Humanitarian of the Year, shitface!” I probably shouldn’t have said Mother Theresa, and Shitface in the same sentence, but I was pissed (sorry God, Ill repent later). So he is leaving for the Condo full time today! When we first broke up, he stayed at the condo for a month. Then his brother came into town and he asked if he could stay at the house. I let him (stupid me), then he asked if he could sleep in the spare bedroom, and split all rent and bills with me so I could save up to move. This sounded logical to me at the time , so I let him do that. REALLY thinking that we could really just be room mates. I really thought he was as mature as I was. My bad. It will be nice to be able to walk around in my T shirt and underpants again.
Ive told D he has to go. We cant continue to live together- its just keeping us in this broken up limbo phase. Why the fuck are men sometimes like babies holding their umbilical cords just waiting for somewhere to plug it in?!? We cant be room mates. I probably emotionally could, but he cant. He still tries to sneak in the bathroom when Im showering. Not that we cant be friends, but we cant live together as friends, and he definately can NOT see my awesome wax job anymore. Some relationships you just cant do that with. Its hard because I really truly feel like I have been single for a long time now. He, on the other hand still feels as though this is fresh and new. How do you politely tell someone you really dont love them anymore? Here is your answer- you cant. Sometimes I speak before thinking things through and it just blurts out. Like this morning, we were both getting ready for work, and he says “listen, J, lets go PA, just as friends (he has been doing stupid passive aggressive shit like this for the longest and it annoys the shit out of me- like really- am I supposed to say ‘yes lets go right now to PA and have a nice vacay’ !” I not being caffeinated, therefore lacking the mechanism in my brain that says “do not say that” blurt out “D, we are not together now, we are not getting back together, we are not going to PA or Skiing, Im not going to FL with you to pretend in front of your family that we are still together, we are not going away together, I hate that you still live here- you have to go back to the condo- I want to get on with my life- I just don’t love you anymore!!”. As usual, when I do this, he just sits there for a minute mouth half open gagging before he retaliates with something to protect his ego. He says “that’s fine- you know my friends all say how lucky you are that we are broken up and I still contribute to this house” ooh good one. “Contribute to this HOUSE?!? You FUCKING LIVE HERE, ASSHOLE! So please just pack your shit and GO and then go sign up for the Mother Theresa award for Humanitarian of the Year, shitface!” I probably shouldn’t have said Mother Theresa, and Shitface in the same sentence, but I was pissed (sorry God, Ill repent later). So he is leaving for the Condo full time today! When we first broke up, he stayed at the condo for a month. Then his brother came into town and he asked if he could stay at the house. I let him (stupid me), then he asked if he could sleep in the spare bedroom, and split all rent and bills with me so I could save up to move. This sounded logical to me at the time , so I let him do that. REALLY thinking that we could really just be room mates. I really thought he was as mature as I was. My bad. It will be nice to be able to walk around in my T shirt and underpants again.
posted by Jessica @ 9:56 AM
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