The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

THIS is what I consumed today


The scale must have been trying to make me feel better this morning when it gave me a flashing 129lbs (with PJs on) Now, I am admitting to having a very terrible bout of upset tummy the day before, but still. After a few days of dumping, being dumped on, and going from the top of the world then pretty much jumping down and crashing into what is my life, 129lbs was like a big warm fuzzy hug.

It all stared with Friendster. His profile after 8 months of dating (yes off and on) still said single. And I tried to be cute and funny about it at first, but every time I would get an email from O, I would go to check my friendster and my "friends" would be flashing in the right hand corner. And there he would be. Single, seeking activity partners. It wasn't long before the "hun, why does Ts profile say single? Did yall break up?" questions start to really bug me. So I asked him to change it. He said he would. But months passed and he didn't. Different profiles were being added to his large list of female friends. But, hey, Im not insecure with that- but one day he commented about changing his favorite movie list on his profile. He did, yet, forgot to add that here I WAS. Remember me? The fucking girl that has been sleeping in your bed at least once a week for 8 months! So it turned into a battle of sorts. And as things do, avalanges always start from one little snowflake. And it all came tumbleing down. He felt insecure about us, so much so that he checked my cell phone text messages the day before. Which, oddly enough that day, I was feeling particularly great about us, so I asked him how he felt about us. The answer "I like it" seemed a bit cold, but whatever. Then before I left I turned to him and said "you know how I feel about us? I think you are trying very hard, and I feel very happy" before I kissed his forehead and left. Ugh what a joke that was. Have you ever said something that just made you cringe just remembering it? Well, that was my moment. Christ I could crawl under a rock now.

SO there it is, folks who have been wondering about my dating life. About my love life. Ive decided that lesbianism may not be a bad option. If I can get past the whole vagina thing, It could be good. And breakups are always shitty, no matter what. So, this is no exception. CBITW may be the cutest boy in the world, but he isnt my cutest boy in the world. For now, my latest love affair is Entemans chocolate donuts. And tonight, I made a mean ass meatloaf and mashed potato that would help soothe any broken heart-including mine.

By the way, I hate house music. Even more now than ever.

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